Vivi's Best

in my drunk head..

2012-01-25T21:30:00.001Z

..i silently sob "i just wish my cat loved me"

can't let go

2011-04-27T00:06:00.000+01:00

can't move on.

2011-03-28T22:52:00.002+01:00

something about england makes me really lazy and heavily adverse to blogging. (hence practically no posts since i got back)

but when i saw karen wearing these amazing topshop wedges on her blog i couldn't RESIST linking them because i fell in love.

when just the other day i was thinking about how good i had been recently not going overboard with my shoe purchases (i think that receiving five pairs of the same shoe (jessica simpson/dany) in different colours made me realise that i was going overboard) i just got struck dumb by this pair..

DAILY DRESS - slumber party

2011-02-05T01:48:00.002Z

I'm suddenly all about shapeless grey socks..

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE. EVER AGAIN.

I WANT THE SUMMER BACK

2011-01-31T21:19:00.004Z

like how about that summer when we were all still young and i was kinda tan and skinny and we were all in love and always outside and the boys came to stay and we slept in cars and on beaches and in forests and hiked mountains and swam all the time and travelled and went to shows and drove boats and made big plans.

yeah, i'll take that summer please.

For Sale

2011-01-28T02:30:00.003Z

Doing another bunch of listings on eBay: Jeffrey Campbell, Vanessa Bruno, Diane Von Furstenberg, brand new pair of Ray-Ban Clubmasters and loads more to follow.

Click on the link on the right hand side of the page to see them all..

DAILY DRESS - back up

2011-01-28T02:19:00.003Z

Trying to make good on my promise to do more outfit posts I have been photographing but seem to have been forgetting about the posting part. So I'll be posting up a few ramdon recent ones over the next few days:

TIGHTS: Primark x 2 // LEOPARD PRINT SILK SLIP: Vintage Mary Green from Etsy // OVERSIZED BURNOUT T-SHIRT [worn as dress]: American Apparel

Ready to go.

2011-01-28T02:14:00.001Z

Vivienne Westwood Rocking Horse Platforms

2011-01-10T22:55:00.003Z

Just purchased these man-repelling platforms. I can already see the brow of every male in my life furrowing with confusion and disgust but I couldn't resist..

In fact, they remind me of a pair of vintage green shoes I used to have and a tube journey once where the drunk middle age couple opposite me had a loud discussion about how revolting my shoes were all the time thinking they were being discreet enough that I wouldn't hear. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the only person who likes them and even I'm not completely sure I will. I think it was just the ankle swingers in the MyWardrobe.com picture that kind of won me over..

oh god, i'm going to be single forever..

2011-01-09T11:16:00.002Z

So maybe I don't understand American media well enough but this just seemed a little fucked up to me..

I was on the CNN website and I clicked on a news headline which straight away shoots me over to the People Magazine website!

I mean, what the fuck!? It's not even like it was a celebrity or beauty story, this was about a fucking MURDER! What kind of news source thinks that a gossip rag can betst report on a murder case!?

I dunno, made me feel weird.

hey how did u get through the holiday season. do you have a New Years resolution?

2011-01-05T15:39:00.001Z

Honestly, I have no idea how I made it through the holiday season. I feel like I'm still trying. It's the absolute worst.

I haven't made resolutions for about ten years but I am trying to sort my life out a little in 2011. (Five days sober thank you very much!) My 2011 motto is "Get 'er Done!"

So I guess we'll see..

Hit me:

2010-12-19T11:54:00.006Z

so mish way posted this on hearty with the title "THIS MADE ME CRY, WATCH" and nothing else.

when i read about this performance when it happened a few days ago i meant to look for the video but i didn't think there would be one so it wasn't priority a or anything.

so i love kathleen hanna, i love le tigre, i love nirvana, I LOVE KURT.. but i press play HIGHLY DOUBTING that this shit is going to make me cry (even though this is usually achieved by pretty much anything ranging from radio shoutouts to 20 second tv ads).

however, by the time she first starts singing the end of my nose is stinging and the tears are welling and by the end of the video i sure enough had tears all over my fucking face..

baby got back

2010-12-19T11:42:00.004Z

yesterday i was talking about my back and said "well actually, i haven't been to a chiropractor for a month now. i don't remember the last time my back held out for so long.."

and sure enough, while attempting to pack this evening i feel the familear 'ping' and i've been stuck in various positions all night..

SVA-XMAS

2010-12-19T10:15:00.005Z

So it seems like Jake is just a regular ol' Santa Claus. This time last year I must have been blogging about him turning up to surprise us at the Locals Christmas Party and how it was my favourite present and then this year he virtually takes me along to the Tate Christmas Party..

This is the first Thanksgiving-to-Christmas stretch I haven't done in Virginia for a few years and I've been missing it real bad, so when Jacob tweeted these pictures of all my favourite people I have to admit I burst into tears..

L-R: Marli, Clare, Graham, Caleb, Peter, Michael, Zach, Kevin, Wes, Zak, Keith, Aaron
(Click to enlarge - or visit TwitPic links)

And the fact is, it couldn't have come at a better/worse time. Trying to decide where I want to head in January.. All I've been hearing this week is that if I want the job I need to move out there by Jan 4th. My Dad keeps asking me what's holding me back (working in an office, sharing 'my' house, working for somebody else when I just want to work for myself, missing the city, Vancouver, things I don't even want to think about..) and seeing everybody and thinking about how much I miss them just makes it even harder to say no..

DAILY DRESS: 16/12/10

2010-12-19T09:53:00.004Z

Thursday December 16th: SHOPPING!
Best purchase of the day - a beautiful Ann Demeulemeester vest which I will photograph and post soon.

WORE: Future Classics silk tie-dye dress, black tights, Jessica Simpson DALY heels, leather jacket.

This dress was so expensive that for the first few weeks I wouldn't touch it as I knew I should just sell it rather than keep it but I've wanted it so long and had shelled out for it so couldn't bear to part with it. Then, even after making the decision it took me a while to actually wear it out as I was so scared to ruin it. My first night in Vancouver I went out to dinner with my parents and some friends and I told my mother it was the first time I'd worn the dress out - she promptly pointed out how stupid it was that it's first outing be to an Italian restaurant. However, dress survived tomato sauce/stain free..

The only thing that bothers me about this dress is that every time I wear it, it falls apart a little more! It was brand new when I got it but because all of their pieces are handsewn sometimes the hems tend to not hold very long and as soon as the stitching as come lose it's a downhill battle. But when I get home I'll give it a bit of a better stitch up and start trying to take care of it a little better!!

Regarding the shoes, my DALY heels are getting a lot more wear than I first thought they would! I thought they might be resigned to dinners and movies where I knew I would be dropped at the curb and would have minimal walking all night but in fact I've been wearing them EVERYWHERE. A few girls stopped me at Gypsy Market last weekend to remark on them (one who said she's been trying to track them down for forever - i hear you girl!) and the salespeople at the store where I bought the vest today applauded me on 'actually wearing them out rather than storing them in the cupboard like most women would'. Bless you! (If only they knew how comfortable they were...)

DAILY DRESS: 13/12/10

2010-12-16T10:14:00.017Z

after a few requests, i've been thinking about blogging outfits. HOWEVER, i am terrible at self-portraits and even if i had someone willing to snap copious clothes shots of me, i hate having my picture taken. And most importantly, I am HIGHLY unphotogenic.

so.. I thought instead I would just start with bits'n'pieces..

Monday December 13th - morning coffee run:

ABOVE: black ADMIRE clog boots by ASOS, a few pairs of layered up shredded white tights, red pencil skirt (thrifted from value village last week), vintage threadbare TRIUMPH vest and vintage silk jacket from the Gypsy Market on Sunday.

EVENING - singles cinema:

WORE: Sheer silk leopard-print Mary Green slip from THIS wonderful Etsy seller, vintage lace tunic from my last trip to Value Village, Gold shoes by OFFICE (see previous posts)

Big Spend Sundays Part II: GIFT SHOP

2010-12-16T10:14:00.016Z

So I've been lusting after Canadian designer MONO for a long while now. Every piece in her Etsy shop goes on every Birthday/Xmas wishlist but when she threw a sale, even so close to the holidays (when I should be buying for others rather than myself), I couldn't resist..
Being that I've just been all about the sheer right now I've been especially lusting after the $300 mesh spanned dress since she brought it out so when I saw that was on sale I couldn't resist breaking (the already shattered) bank and buying it..

Knowing that the desinger, Heather Martin is based in Vancouver, to save on the extortionate postage costs (Canada's fault, not hers!) I cheekily asked if I could pick it up from somewhere in the city instead..

She kindly informed me that she had some of her items included in Gift Shop, a pop-up store downtown, with selected art, craft and fashion pieces. She said if I bought the dress online she could leave it in the store for me to pick up.

Looking through the website I lose my shit over some of the sellers (BEN SKINNER!!!!) and realize that going to the store is going to set me back much more than the dress already has.

So I head over there after Gypsy Market on Sunday. Totally broke, yet surrounded by beautiful jewelery, art and crafts, I remember that my Grandmother had given me $50 to buy myself something for Christmas and I couldn't tell her I'd spent it all on beer so...

Christmas presents from my Grandmother!! A darling little bowl (sake cup?) and a cup and saucer, both by Hubert Ceramics

(NB: do not google search 'hubert ceramics and click on the first link. if that really is the designer then i'd prefer to pretend it's not. ick. instead, click on this: hubert ceramics blog)

All I can say is that I highly recommend you get over there while it's still on.

Big Spend Sundays Part I: GYPSY MARKET @ BILTMORE CABARET

2010-12-16T08:44:00.012Z

pile includes: adorable floral vintage dress, velvet vest dress, tie-dyed by +seeker+, super old falling-to-pieces triumph t-shirt chopped into vest (with adorable chest pocket), black silk

dress, vintage silk floral blouse/jacket, silk japanese kimono-style dress

So ever since I first saw Sydney blog about the Vancouver GYPSY MARKET last March I've been desperate to be here for the next one..

Fast forward to this Sunday where I am so desperate to snap up all the best bargains that I give up going to Glory Days/Daft Punk to have an early night so I can wake up bright and early to snap up the prime pieces. Instead, I hit snooze for 4 hours and don't get their until an hour before closing time.

STILL got there in time to get a good pile of crap, including the following:

RED SILK KIMONO STYLE DRESS (RIDICULOUSLY LONG): BACK

RED SILK KIMONO STYLE DRESS (RIDICULOUSLY LONG): FRONT

FRUMPY FLORAL DRESS

TRASHTASTIC THREADBARE ATHLETIC TEE

SILK FLORAL BLOUSE/JACKET

And PS you can see all the glorious shots of the market by Sydney here on TheFuturists (including a shot of my shoes, which (btw) I've been wearing non-stop since I realised they were actually very easy to walk in)..

$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $

2010-12-14T07:22:00.002Z

you're know you're bad off when you're using somebody else's antibiotics because you can't afford to get your own..

but you should be fucking ashamed you've got so broke when said antibiotics are penicillin and you're allergic.

guess we'll see how it goes!

somebody give me a baby already..

2010-12-09T18:09:00.003Z

how effing cute are these shots from All Saints new Kids Lookbook?!?

FOR SALE

2010-12-09T10:48:00.001Z

Check out Vivi's Best Dress Shop for new items I've recently listed in the Blog Shop. As always, lots more to come so please just get in touch if you are looking for anything in particular.. xxx

2010-12-09T10:20:00.001Z

gah. i finally figured out how to write over more than half the width of the page.

so now everything looks shit..

style advice please

2010-12-09T10:03:00.002Z

i'm so stuck. so stuck.

i've been so happy that it's finally cold enough that i'm back in my element - layers upon layers of black clothing.

but i do this every year - i get so excited about winter clothing that i forget that in fact there's barely a difference - every shop, restaurant or bar that you go into is so heated that you end up having to dress for summer underneath. and when you ARE outside, you're hustling so hard to get out of the cold that you work up such a sweat that it's not worth having more than a light jacket or coat on top.

so that's my every day dress problem. that and the fact that i suddenly hate every single item of clothing that i own.

but worse is that being back in vancouver means that i'm finally out at night. and having spent most of the last year hidden away in the countryside means that i forgot just how fucking hot it is in a packed nightclub.. and then add to the uncomfortable sweat and heat the fact that somebody is trying to snap photos of your red shiny face and it's almost enough to make you want to stay at home watching romcoms alone in your sweats (no, just me..?)

so i am looking for some 'going out clothes' (for much want of a better term). i have a few things holding me back here - i'm not keen on sleeveless, i want something i can dance in and most of all - i want something that is not going to make me overheat.

PLEASE SEND LINKS! or suggestions. i'm desperate.

2010-12-06T02:40:00.002Z

I have been listening to The Drums album on repeat for about a week now..

Somebody send me some new music..

2010-12-06T02:27:00.003Z

when i got to my parents house in vancouver they were both away in victoria but i saw that they'd left on the bed a couple of trashmags and some newspaper clippings about sex trade workers on the DTES.

cue a smug smile about how amusing it is that my mom views me as a vapid celebrity-obsessed bitch who can't wait a day to get her hands on the latest fake gossip (not far off) and that my dad still recognises and appreciates my deep interest and fascination with this case (which i did my University dissertation on).

the next night while out at dinner my dad asks if i saw what he left on my bed and i'm about to delve into a length discussion with him about the commissioner's letter when someone interrupts us and it falls by the wayside..

a few days later my dad is telling some woman at dinner about how much he enjoys the show 'Dangerous Housewives' (aka 'Desperate Housewives' - a show that my father owns all seven series of and has watched in it's entirety yet still can't get the name straight) and I'm shocked that he is clued up enough on celebrity gossip to know that Eva Longoria is getting a divorce (which I myself had only noticed in passing a day or so before at a supermarket checkout or somesuch). I joke about it to my mother who then proceeds to tell me that he has been buying the trashmags to follow that and 'didn't i see that he had left some on my bed for me?'..

So, I'm sorry Mom, for misjudging you..

And Dad.. WTF!?

seriously. watch it.

2010-12-05T07:44:00.000Z

ANKLE CRACKING GOOD.

2010-12-05T07:14:00.008Z

There's this consignment store a few blocks from my house here in Vancouver which drives me nuts. When I'm in England, approximately once a week I find myself daydreaming about what items they might have had delivered and what might be sitting there that i can't get to..

So after flying in Tuesday and sleeping for 24 hours straight, the first thing I did when I woke up was to head straight there. I was BESIDE MYSELF when I found these Miu Miu boots in my size and HUGELY discounted:

I'm so in love. The photo does them no justice. The metal on the heels is INCREDIBLE. But those little fuckers are kind of a killer. I don't think it's the height of the heel so much as maybe the placement of it? I don't know but it really works a certain part of my calf when I wear them. Just had them on for a few hours when I went out to brunch the other morning and with barely any walking I was willing to forgo any shopping in order to go home and give my pins a break..

Of course now it seems like I've gone a little overboard with the black ankle boots. I already had two pairs sitting in my wardrobe here, I brought three pairs with me, had two pairs ordered to the house and now these too.. So the only shoes I have with me that aren't black boots are two pairs of heels and some flats that i just keep in my bag for when i can't handle the pain any longer.

Also beginning to worry about what seems to be a burgeoning addiction to heels. Not sure my poor feet can handle it. Last year while I was in Vancouver I lost 3 toenails just due to excessive dancing. Last night after Danika caught a cab I sat down for a second to check I had enough cash for cabfare and found I actually couldn't get back up. My legs just buckled underneath me because my feet were in such agony (turns out I had just the ONE back up flat in my purse..) and in the end I had to limp the few feet across the sidewalk to the car (after half an hour of shivering on the corner of Hastings while every person to walk past would stop and tell me that it wasn't safe for me to be there).

(L-R: Jessica Simpson Dany Shoes, ASOS Admire Clog Boots, Office, Miu Miu Clog Boots)

My new Jessica Simpson Dany heels also arrived yesterday. I love them and they are remarkably comfortable and easy to walk in however I roll over on my ankle so many times a day that I'm a bit worried that with the 6 inch heel, these will be the pair that finally send me to the x-ray theatre.

2010-12-05T07:12:00.002Z

so that thing where you 'become a virgin again'..?

well i want whatever surgery/ceremony/fucking thing it is do 'become a teenager again'. feeling old as fuck and bloody blue about it..

2010-12-05T06:58:00.002Z

i just refound this video and it's been stuck in my head all afternoon.

my favourite thing about it is that you have to be a pretentious hipster to even get all the references anyway.

YVR

2010-12-03T01:01:00.004Z

srsly. wtf.

it's like i left vancouver and in the short time before returning everyone got famous..

i get here and find that magda is out of town taking over LA and yet i'm seeing her all over the place (browsing iPad apps her face is beaming up at me, turning on the TV and she's there, my twitter feed is clogged with her messages back and forth with our teenage celeb idols..)

i get in my car for the first time, turn on the radio and it's mid-way through a said the whale song (ten minutes after e-mailing tyler about his boots i didn't bring from england).

dave is being interviewed all over the place for his new album, my secret crush from last year is a lead on the tv show i keep being told to watch and the 'friend of a friend' i invited to sleep on my couch turns out to be canada's national sweetheart..

THIS is what I've been doing for the last two weeks

2010-12-02T18:15:00.003Z

actually, this picture just looks like I made my way through an entire mountain of Valium but that's just the unfortunate issue of so much of it being by the front (though, shit, did i seriously take that much..?!)

formspring questions answered

2010-11-28T02:31:00.002Z

QUESTION: you wrote this a while ago - the truth of it is, i've only ever truly cared for two people. and yet all or any advice i provide to or about them is that they should be with someone who isn't me. who? why?

ANSWER: One was a mistake that ended up being the biggest I ever made, the other was making sure that the other person in question didn't make the same mistake i did..

Hit me:

I'm a warrior, a warrior

2010-11-16T20:41:00.004Z

Last year I found a ridiculous silver lame warrior dress with shoulder pads the size of an American Footballers. I totally fell in love and with all things, this meant I wanted more, more, MORE! Unfortunately, these kind of gaudy wonders are one-of-a-kinds..

Or so I thought!!

Searching for 'chainmail' on Etsy this evening (see previous posts - buying a few more pairs of black ankle boots recently has made me even more desperate for some chainmail ankle straps) I found this little beauty:

SOLD!!

It's even the same fabulous material!! Snapped up immediately (and for a measly $39!) I shall have this winging it's way to me shortly and I can't bloody wait!!

Thank you GimmeNICOLE!!!

i need to clean up my act..

2010-11-08T00:35:00.004Z

a perfect example of why i feel weird about having people in my house:

woke up on the couch at 6am and went to bed. found penny there. apparently when she went to bed she couldn't get comfortable with the weird lumps under the pillow..

a whiskey bottle. under my pillow. HELLO SECURITY BLANKET..

New Facebook Features

2010-11-08T00:24:00.002Z

so maybe one night i'll get good and drunk and down enough to 'view' our Facebook 'friendship' but for the meantime i'll try and stay far away and restrain myself..

miss you terribly..

Formspring Questions Answered

2010-11-03T21:45:00.002Z

QUESTION: Are you on holiday? You haven't been tweeting or blogging for ages!!

ANSWER: 'sorry', i guess? i've been away some but while i've been back i've been either too busy or just too exhausted.

i wouldn't have thought you'd miss me!

will be writing and posting a lot more soon as i have a lot of photographs to put up and many many clothes to list!

Hit me:

For Sale

2010-11-03T21:18:00.002Z

A few new items in the Blog shop. Lots of new listings on eBay and literally hundreds of items hanging up in storage waiting to be photographed and listed so if you're looking for something in particular (or something you've seen on here and like) then please get in touch!

sorry bitches

2010-11-03T20:53:00.003Z

snapped up the last pair of jeffrey campbell comma boots on nastygal.com last night.

have these beauts winging their way to me soonsoonsoon:

2010-11-03T20:52:00.001Z

i'm not writing - i'm tired.

2010-10-03T20:26:00.001+01:00

2010-10-03T20:22:00.000+01:00

ohlife.com

Britney Speaks : Punk as Fuck

2010-10-03T20:17:00.001+01:00

babooshka birthday buys

2010-08-30T22:46:00.009+01:00

queen michelle / kingdom of style in my leggings and shirt purchases

coming back to england and finally feeling the chill has made me far too excited about the colder months and returning to the comfort of black, layering, wool, leather...

Camille (Childhood Flames) in the t-shirt dress which will be mine in mere days..

so i broke down and did a big order from babooshka boutique. after seeing their clothing on michelle, camille and zana i'd been meaning to buy a few items so i went on this afternoon to see if there was any potential birthday presents i could wishlist but when i saw the 40% sale i couldn't help myself.

and the fact that the models are wearing my sam edelman boots only made me want things more..

(yup, even with far too many pairs of leather/pleather/coated leggings and jeans i couldn't help but buy this pair)

PLUS using the Garbage Dress promo code (GARBAGE) i got an extra 10% off...

cockblock

2010-08-24T07:58:00.005+01:00

the truth of it is, i've only ever truly cared for two people. both i thought i could or would marry. and yet all or any advice i provide to or about them is that they should be with someone who isn't me.

in fact, i guess that's the very same advice i've given everybody else as well..

same damn pair for more years than i care to remember and i'm sure it will only be those two for much longer than i wish to want for a good long time still..

2010-08-24T07:57:00.001+01:00

i know. it's been a long time since i wrote anything..

perfect time for a short (drunk submission):

2010-07-27T20:47:00.002+01:00

take me back to seth and summer. to dawson and joey. to pining and crushing and innocence.

Street Style

2010-07-11T16:58:00.004+01:00

was over the moon to get street-style snapped twice at glastonbury festival this year (thank you girls!)

definitely made me want to start photographing and styling outfits again.

and i wish i could apologise to the first girl to stop me for a photograph - poor thing, she was so sweet in asking me for a photograph but my great panic of having my picture taken meant that rather than graciously accepting i pulled a nasty face and groaned, mumbled my consent then stood expressionless for what must have been a terrible snap before stomping off. it was only after her sweet cry of "you look really cool" that i realised just how mean i must have seemed. blame penny and co as i believe i was in the middle of carrying 6 litres of water back to the campsite..

2010-07-11T16:43:00.002+01:00

i went out for a gastro-pub lunch with my parents (and their guests) this afternoon and on an empty stomach the two pints of local (high-percentage) cider and ale that i downed went straight to my head so rather than going for a lovely country drive with them i shamefully made my brother's girlfriend come pick me up and bring me home..

i had totally forgotten that my brother was throwing a BBQ and world cup party so i've been attempting to go through all of the shit i've been storing in my parents house for the last few years..

however, in the meantime i've been dashing out to the living room to check on my laptop as me and my brother's girlfriend are having a huge media swap and for some reason the big screen has been playing Australian Animal Rescue all afternoon. Something about being this bizarre in the middle of the day, being surrounded by 20 year olds and having this creepy programme in the background is making me feel insane..

2010-07-11T16:39:00.004+01:00

i have SO much to tell..

between my recent marni, jil sander and prada parcels that i want to photograph and post, there was also glastonbury, my review/non-interview with dan mangan and much much more.

HOWEVER. i have been ignoring the internet of late. losing my iphone has made me resent all things technological and i've been sticking to books and sleep. but this morning my hungover sunday ritual of getting neck cricks while trawling blogs in bed got the best of me this week and i wanna get back in the game.

stay posted..

there is no substitute

2010-06-17T01:03:00.000+01:00

not even close

2010-06-12T10:02:00.003+01:00

Peter kindly fixed my portable record player so I can go back to listening to records in the bath.

And then he took this nice picture of it too.

Trendmill

2010-06-01T17:34:00.002+01:00

MONTHS ago trendmill.com asked me to become a regular contributor to the site and yet I haven't uploaded a single outfit since..

i'm about to have a huge clothing clearout so before i get rid of many of my outfits i would like to photograph them but for now i'm on the lookout for a good backdrop and some camera-confidence.

coming soon..(?)

poems from the japanese

2010-05-30T03:48:00.005+01:00

i wish i were close

to you as the skirt of

a salt girl to her body.

i think of you always.

- AKAHITO

J.

2010-05-26T20:00:00.000+01:00

i can always count on penny to tell me i'm ridiculous when i'm being absolutely serious

2010-05-18T20:16:00.001+01:00

QUESTION: If you could change one thing about your past...?

2010-05-07T22:33:00.002+01:00

ANSWER: christmas eve 2008

Ask me anything

cut out the heart that longs

2010-05-04T00:47:00.001+01:00

i thought this one was closed for business..

Will you keep my heart in a box or a bird-cage.. What color would you paint my hands to please your faith.. Where are you tonight when I fear myself, and the terrible tic toc of the late-night clock.. Will u love me when u see I'll never amount to anythin

2010-05-01T02:19:00.002+01:00

ANSWER: always in a box. hidden from sight. i could take it out to examine, adore or prod.. but most likely hide it locked away. when even just the thought of possessing such a weapon makes my own sink..
i'll paint your hands a bloody red so i will know where you've been and all your lies, untruths and missteps.. yet i know you'll feel no shame and such a map of indiscretion will surely fuel you..
now you know i can't change that. so it seems i make things worse. now not just yourself but me too you fear.
i will never love you. nobody. ever again.

Ask me anything

felix.

2010-05-01T00:55:00.003+01:00

i'm lying here alone with the television on mute. and suddenly i saw his face in the corner.

it's some kind of special on the band.. most of the interview is him alone. the rest is awful. but to watch him jerk around the stage and to mumble and dodge.. adorable.

felix. i would still sit through 3 years of classes, lonely nights and searching walks to keep those glimpses of you..

2010-04-20T23:29:00.003+01:00

"he's gonna marry that dang girl. (eventually they all will.) and then what are you gonna do? those last little pieces of your heart are gonna break. and don't expect me to care coz you shoulda mended that thing and let someone have it a long time ago.."

2010-04-20T21:20:00.002+01:00

my blood is boiling and my mind is racing. and it's a night like this when i know the only thing to set me right is a big ol' dance floor and aaron knopp lining them up until the birds sing and he falls asleep with his boots on.

2010-04-20T21:10:00.000+01:00

MOM: “do you remember my cousin and her husband?”
DAD: “?”
MOM: “the ones who came to our wedding. the ones who could really jive.”
DAD: “which ones?”
MOM: “how may people do you kow who can really jive?”
MOM: “well, she died."

2010-04-20T20:28:00.000+01:00

2010-04-20T20:11:00.004+01:00

Of All The Things We've Made from Will Renton on Vimeo.

soon.

2010-04-18T22:11:00.001+01:00

heart of stone

2010-04-02T11:54:00.001+01:00

i just scrolled down the page and it almost made me sick with disgust.

i need some funny posts, something cheerful. or at least sarcastic and sardonic. too much fucking gloom.

2010-04-01T21:49:00.003+01:00

i'm sick of people asking me my fucking favourite food..

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.formspring.me/ViviBest"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;http://www.formspring.me/ViviBest&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

the best damn sleepover i ever had

2010-04-01T21:02:00.003+01:00

sure i may have loped off at some point to be sick in the communal toilet.
and yeah, possibly the next day rose was so tired we actually had to pull over in an industrial estate for her to cry it out.
but THAT night...?
the beautiful hostel and the stain glass windows and parquet flooring. nobody but us..
dragging all of the mattresses onto the floor like children at a summer camp. a big bottle of white lightning fueling us forward. only divulging honest and innocent feelings under cover of 'truth or dare'. such awkward but exciting relations..

to see us now so different and distant. i miss every single one of them so differently yet so so much.

2010-03-30T00:10:00.000+01:00

I have a terrible habit of booking flights while i'm drunk..

LOVEFILM

2010-03-28T21:22:00.001+01:00

i'm so worried that working in an office is making me fat that i sent off my unwatched john casavettes dvds to get some fitness ones..

2010-03-20T01:32:00.001Z

Plans for the weekend:

2010-03-19T20:01:00.001Z

Get wasted drunk, pass out with the stereo shouting, buy a bass, play it LOUD.

watching THE ROAD with my sister..

2010-03-18T20:35:00.003Z

LISA: the whole time i was watching it i just wanted to shout “you can do it aragon! you can survive!"

2010-03-18T08:38:00.003Z

woke up.

read my twitter feed.

saw two alex chilton tweets in a row.

deduced alex chilton had died.

cried.

(surprised myself for feeling quite so strongly.)

continued scrolling.

no RIPs.

no more alex chilton tweets.

figure that between the box tops, big star and the greatness of alex chilton himself that it would be entirely possible that two unrelated people happened to be praising alex chilton at the very same time.
figure it's far less likely that between the box tops, big star and he greatness of alex chilton himself that there wouldn't be more than two mentions of his passing.

felt a bit better.

made coffee.

can't shake it.

quick google check to put my mind at ease..

ugh.

HELP PLEASE:

2010-03-15T00:01:00.002Z

some years ago a friend pressed her boyfriend a recording of one of his songs as a birthday present.

i was wondering about the possibility of doing something similar. i'm wanting to do a vinyl mixtape.. does anyone know if this is possible and where i can get it done...?

2010-03-14T23:47:00.000Z

out with the new

in with the old

2010-03-13T16:55:00.002Z

Vivi's Best Shop now open!!

http://vivibestshop.blogspot.com/

QUESTION: walking, running, cycling, skating or driving?

2010-03-11T22:10:00.002Z

ANSWER:

walking: mountains, cities at night
running: in the house
cycling: along the beach
skating: on ice, at disco rinks, around stanley park
driving: through the countryside

Ask me anything

unlikely.

2010-03-10T23:16:00.001Z

she dreams of bunnies

2010-03-09T22:48:00.004Z

so after watching a cute fuzzy die (practically) by my hand this evening i came home, looked for my cat under the bed and came nose to tail with half a rabbit that my dear pet had killed and dismembered.

and now with easter around the corner i've already been on no less than three websites this evening that have greeted me with the black eyes and furrowed nose of a digital bunny..

tears go by

2010-03-09T22:01:00.005Z

so through my teens i had this crazy illness. i wont go into detail but they told me at one point that the brain pressure can make you go blind. by my early 20s they told me i no longer had the illness in my brain and spine so although i was stuck with the headaches there was no more talk of blindness..

i pride myself on my perfect eyesight. i'm the only one in the family without glasses and it's not unusual for me to go to the optician and be told my eyesight has 'improved'. i can see things a million miles away and whenever i've been on safari with my family despite the fact that both my brother and sister are both qualified 'trackers' i get pretty competitive about what i can spot.

a couple of days ago, out of nowhere i lost sight in my left eye. not all at once but blind spots. then blurring then occassional nothing. i went home, went to bed and the next morning it was better.

last night i was at the pub and as i was washing my hands i looked up and noticed something on my eye. i looked closer and saw a big bloody patch on my eyeball. it's saying something when my family are actually concerned at some symptom i present but everyone urged me to make it to the doctor as soon as i could. when i woke up this morning and the bloody area had doubled in size i had flashbacks to being 15 and walking around the house with my eyes closed so i would know my way around should i lose my sight.

so the doctor checked the back of my eyes and it doesn't appear my brain has any great vendetta against my eyeballs so i'm putting this bloody eyeball down to excessive bawling.. me and penny had a movie marathon in the run up to the oscars and i cried for hours straight.

if anyone's going to blow a blood vessel with tears, you just know it's going to be this crybaby.

run rabbit run

2010-03-09T21:19:00.005Z

i probably pass a good 20 or so rabbit, hare, pheasant and quail along the country lanes on my way home from work each evening and have been thinking/saying recently how if i hit one i'm gonna scoop it up, chuck it in the backseat and serve it for dinner..

today i hit a rabbit on my way home from work.

i squealed, i swerved but i still felt a bump.

i could hardly believe it when i watched it scuttle into the verge in my rearview mirror but i knew i must have done the poor thing some damage so pulled over and went back to find it..

after 5 minutes of searching and calling like a clueless dog-sitter i tracked it down. i climbed the fence and crawled into the bushes where i could see it obviously had broken back legs but as i moved closer it obviously got scared and tried to move away tumbled down the slope into a stream below..

my instincts obviously can't tell the difference between an already-dying rabbit and a baby tumbling down a hillside because my automatic reaction was to throw off my coat and dash to try and save it before it fell into the stream below.

moving as fast as i could i watched the poor wee thing tumble down the slope, trying every so often to right itself but to no avail, and eventually plop into the stream. after getting caught in the bramble, untangling myself, going back for my coat as protection, climbing back in, falling in the stream, not being able to reach it i ended up watching the rabbit give up, put its head under the water and slowly drown in front of me.

by the time the rabbit had stopped moving i was left standing in the muddy stream, scratched to pieces by the brambles as it finally got dark and cold.

through the whole thing rabbit pie was just about the last thing on my mind.. i guess i ain't such a country gal after all.

2010-03-09T21:10:00.002Z

Vivi Best to Sarah Morrison:

Is 'The Internet' your friend?

Sarah Morrison to Vivi:

The Internet is no one's friend.

blue.

2010-03-09T20:34:00.002Z

the last time i saw tara we were lying in silence and she just said "you seem really sad" and nothing else.

considering all the shit that she's having to go through, hearing her say that did make me sad.

i need to buck the fuck up.

2010-03-05T22:07:00.005Z

help me quit this achin' wontcha..

fire, fire

2010-03-05T19:55:00.005Z

so when i was 15 or 16 i set fire to my bedroom.

no act of pyromaniacal teenage rebellion, just a lethal combination of clothes hanging from every corner or shelf, a dozen tealights and a huge wooden bedframe that i'd slept in since a babe..

we discovered it in time. managed to get it out. but i was relegated to the guest room for the next 6 months or so while we gutted the room of my ashy bedframe and furniture, aired it out and redecorated.

since then nobody has ever really trusted me with candles. when we're in the house together in staunton it drives penny nuts that i have bottles of candles in every room. she chips away at my puddles of wax on every heath and step.

heck, i don't even trust myself. the amount of times i've woken up in the morning, walked downstairs and found flames still a-flicker on the mantle piece. it got to the point where last time i was in the staunton house alone i left myself post-its on the front door of how many candles i had burning in each room so that i would remember to go to each room and blow them all out before i left the house.

the problem with my room here is that although it's pretty much a box, the furniture i have crammed into it provides many a nook and cranny so i tend to forget what i've lit and where. so yeah, i just stepped in on what was about to be a real unfunny recital of bedroom burndown.

flames extinguised. in a room that smelt like burning bookshelf i went back to folding clothes. what was the first item of clothing i uncover (no joke, VERY first thing) - a pair of cut offs with a huge hole burnt out of them. a little keepsake from the fire i set in the studio in greece this summer.

fuck. get this kid a minder already..

possibly paris..

2010-03-02T23:30:00.004Z

.. next week.

it would be lovely.

new memories recording over the old..

but could i really rewrite that last trip? where we let go, moved on and made a choice to be together..

you had just come back from being on tour. we had been fighting. i took a different train and travelled on my own.

i stepped off the train in paris alone and felt home.

and free.

i felt safe.

i felt like i could live here. even without you...

hours later we were in that beautiful apartment surrounded by maps of all the places we had travelled together. tracing our journeys with dirty fingertips across the wall.

and that night i changed my mind. i realised i didn't want to do it without you. forget paris, i didn't want to live anywhere without you..

i wasn't going to leave no matter how much it hurt sometimes.

we were going to move in together. start this new life..

after so many years of the city.. so many trips. so many memories. this is it for me now. that trip. our stay.

so can i go back and not think of you..?

everytime i look up..

2010-03-02T23:29:00.000Z

you confuse me further..

2010-02-19T21:22:00.000Z

i can't believe i even contemplated giving up swearing for lent..

vancouver 2010 + my mama

2010-02-19T20:41:00.004Z

my mother is so far removed from anything even vaguely athletic that you could just never picture her even comprehending the idea of sport let along watching it. and yet, every time the winter olympics are on she will spend two weeks absolutely glued to the boob tube...

for the past few olympics the timings have corresponded with family holidays at our apartment in switzerland. so while me, my brother and sister have been spending all day actually IN the snow, she has spent all day, every day inside staring at a screen, apparently oblivious to the stunning mountain range 10 inches out of her sight-range..

that's fine i guess. i mean, whatever.. like what you like. it's been fun at times, i certainly doubt i would have had any interest in the biathlon if someone had just 'told' me that it consists of people skiing slowly and then taking 5 shots at something you're not even trying to kill, skin and eat. and yet she's managed to make me care..

unfortunately, as beautiful as our wee car-free village in the alps is, there ain't a whole lot to do. we read a lot, there's an awful lot of scrabble games, plenty of cards, but after a full day of shredding the slopes and a few apres-ski pints, i don't mind just giving out and laying on the couch to work my way through an entire season of my latest TV obsession. unfortunately, when the winter olympics are on, said couch is taken. Eurosport is on from the moment of wake until i bury my head under the pillow by 10pm because i can't handle commentary a moment longer.

so when vancouver won the 2010 bid it was all talk of which events to get tickets for, how to get on waiting lists, flight prices, etc. typically, for our family, by november nobody had booked flights out to vancouver and i was actually just leaving the fair city. so.. plan b: we'll rent the house out and get shitloads of money..

i started up Sherborne Cottages (renting out holiday cottages) while i was last back in england last year and it makes pretty mean money so everyone figured i'd be the gal for the job.. however, (as too frequently seems the case) laziness prevailed and while i was still in vancouver i never actually bothered doing it..

so we have a big ol' house in the middle of the olympic action just sitting there empty.

as my mom drove herself (read: me) crazy with excitement in the run up to the start of the olympics i asked over and over again "why not just go out there?"

i mean, she has the money. she has the time. she LOVES winter olympics.

she told me she just didn't think she could handle the jet lag. now, for a woman who has been traveling nigh on solidly since the age of 17. who started an entire business just so that she could travel the world for as much time of the year as possible. a "Bromfield" renowned for ridiculous world travel... this seemed a bit lame.

but you know, she's getting on. she's working her way into her seventh decade now. body slows down, these things take more of a toll. i can get on board. but fuck me. i don't think she has gone to bed before 5am since the olympics started. THIS IS WORSE THAN JETLAG MOTHER.

(me, personally? i feel like i've only been watching the olympics through twitter. working 9-5 when the olympics is working 5-9 pretty much blows)

2010-02-14T17:01:00.001Z

Happy Valentines Day kids..

formspring.me

2010-02-12T00:52:00.002Z

i want to send you a valentine

DO.

here:
Sherborne Cottage
Salcombe House
Long Street
Sherborne
Dorset
DT9 3BU

and now you HAVE to because i'll be expecting one..

Ask me anything

"you're my girl and i love you.."

2010-02-11T21:14:00.006Z

so me and R were never very big on v-day (which is weird because before i got together i used to love it). we NEVER celebrated it. didn't even exchange cards. i would send out cards to EVERYbody but i don't remember us ever exchanging them...

but this one year.. R wrote me a song. to this day i'm convinced it's one of the greatest things i've ever heard but even when we were together i could hardly listen to it..

firstly, whenever R would sing, it would kill me. it was almost too much. i didn't really know how to handle it. i think it's partly (or maybe largely) because before we got together i was just so mad about R that I would listen to this 3 song EP over and OVER again, on repeat. so the familiar voice always took me back to these overwhelming feelings of unrequited love that i'd felt for so long.

so that was probably why i couldn't listen to the song too often at first. and then, we once had a particularly painful breakup. R was on tour and we went on a break and the break turned into a break up and as i was driving away from (what would later become) 'our' house after the break up i listened to that song on repeat.

i don't know what i was trying to do to myself.

it was one of the deepest darkest lows of my life. i was a mess. we had been at a point in our relationship where i was just finishing university and had decided against world travels for us to move in together. i was changing all my life plans. 'we' were making a life 'together' instead. and then this.

i remember driving from london to brighton (where i was still living) and sobbing the entire way. my cat (which was always sort of 'ours') was in a basket in the front seat and i imagined her to be like a child of divorce. between sobs i would croak and whine "i'm so sorry baby" to her by means of apology for something she could not care less about.. and that song is the SOUNDTRACK to that drive.

as i drove away from the house i put it on. I played it all the way out of London. I played it through all the suburbs. and then when i could barely breathe through the tears i threw my ipod across the car and i'm not sure i've made it all the way through the song since..

so tonight, a year since we have broke up.. days after a painful (and yet also wonderful) meeting with R and only days from valentine's day itself i stumble across it on my itunes. only yesterday i was thinking about the song. wondering where i had kept a copy (knowing how much it hurts me and how risky 'shuffle' can be). i was surprised to see it on there. a few glasses of wine in, and obviously feeling stronger than i thought, i double clicked...

i don't know why i do this to myself...

2010-02-10T20:13:00.001Z

(wearing my clothes and a lock of my hair round your neck..)

2010-02-10T19:49:00.003Z

California Girls from Will Renton on Vimeo.

now i really ruh-eeeeeally miss these guys

2010-02-10T00:57:00.003Z

I am way too excited about the fact that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are tweeting each other again..

Heart is actually feeling ten times warmer thanks to tonight's exchange between them (white trash as it might be):

lindsaylohan: This is become a bit much *Samantha R never raised a hand to me. I've never said she did*

samantharonson: @lindsaylohan thank you for clearing that up. the high road was giving me a nose bleed!

lindsaylohan: you are welcome ;)

Too bad 'over-it'-sam concluded this sweet exchange with

samantharonson: back to more important things - mani/pedi with @marshallbarnes

So maybe my favourite celebrity couple of the noughties ain't gonna bring it back any time soon..

2010-02-10T00:16:00.002Z

Dive Bar, Photobooth.
Chinatown, San Francisco

(that trip we figured everything out)

Jacob Mapstone

2010-02-09T23:03:00.012Z

so, somebody just used formspring to ask me about Jacob..

all suspicions that it WAS actually jacob aside, here's something of an answer:

i HEARD about jacob for a long time before i met him. (years.) story by story i would get these little glimpses of 'jacob' from all the Staunton boys - pierced belly button and all..

The first time I met Jacob, I was terrified. I was out at the Knopps house when Vedder started barking and someone casually mentioned it was 'probably Jacob'. Heart pounding. JACOB. The Legend. The Man. He was going to hate me..

In fact, Jacob did not (appear to) hate me. He seemed entirely indifferent. In fact, I don't believe he even looked at me and certainly not one single word was thrown my way..

Fast forward to 5 years later and Jacob is one of my favourite people in the big wide world..

Anonymous-question-asker wanted to know 'what he's like' which is an impossible thing to describe..

he's an anomaly. i couldn't even begin to describe him. and even the best attempt wouldn't begin to shed light on how great he is.. small example: the above photos are all from his birthday. Ever the romantic, he decided to throw a full on 'prom' for his birthday.

jacob is the kind of person who in the span of 24 hours can listen to you (convincingly) for hours on end while you pour out your broken little heart, he'll cheer you up by dancing with you until you can't stay on your feet, he'll top it off with passing out on your front doorstep (if you're lucky).. next morning he'll hang is arm over your shoulder at breakfast, in a way that makes you feel like nothing can touch you, he'll work off the hangover with hours of teen TV viewing sharing a blanket on the couch, you can go vintage shopping with him and he'll even let you pick his purchases..

he's one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest people i've ever met. and THAT is why me and caroline positively squealed when we saw him walk through the door this christmas when he was supposed to be in south africa..

(plus, he's positively handsome and has some of the best looking tattoos i know..)

(all of this is making me want to do a whole lot more 'jacob'-themed posts...)

black cat.

2010-02-09T22:58:00.004Z

my cat is creeping me out. she's taken to 'displaying' her kill rather than just dumping it. almost like a serial killer, each corpse is laid out more artistically.

i don't know if this should make me like her more or just keep my door shut at night..

2010-02-09T22:56:00.001Z

I'm pretty sure I'm going to break down and buy myself the 69 Love Songs vinyl box set for Valentines Day..

I can't tell if this is just terribly depressing or maybe a tiny bit great..